My heart is breaking

Kip has been sick off and on for a few weeks.

He hasn't been able to kick this as well as usual.

He is having exploratory surgery on his kidneys October 20th.

They told him there isn't much more they can do for him.

I drank myself into oblivion last night when I found this out. So, I have spent today being hungover and sad.

Then my realist called. "Lisa, his wife is gone. His family doesn't visit all that often, when they do they drive him crazy. He spends his time reading books. The highlight of his day is seeing people at the bar. He doesn't have much. It may just be his time." I was angry when he said this. Then I thought about what he was saying. I'm being selfish.

So, pray for my Kip. I have to work the night of his surgery at the bar. It'll be busy. It'll be 20 sets of eyes looking at me and not saying much.

I told one of his best friends, when we find out his prognosis, we're going to have a party. Just like we did for Miss Annette.

If he isn't here in January for our birthdays, I will have to leave the country.

I think I'll write him a letter and tell him how much I love him.